Tarot Meme Test

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Live Action Role Play -ergy!

SO, if you've been following along, Bob, you may have noticed I said I was in a LARPing group called the Camarilla or Cam for short. This group is associated with White Wolf Publications as they produce the books for the setting and rules that the game uses. In this World of Darkness I portray three characters in three different venues. A venue, as defined in this context, is a portion of the World of Darkness game centered around a genre of "critters" such as Vampires or Werewolves. Generally, the venues do not cross over, but on the rare occasion that they do, it is called "Cross-Venue"; clever huh?
Now, the reason for this is something called "The Pact of Ages" which is ancient magics that bind the senses of the supernatural creatures of this world from direct interaction with one another save through odd circumstance or persistent direct contact. It really is a good way of keeping the venues separate, as a few Magi might just do away with the entire Vampire population of a city with a thought. This would be bad for the game.
I tell you this, Bob, because I thought I might tell you about these persons that are so dear to me. I mean that, too. I care about these boys that I become every Saturday night. I want them to grow, prosper and experience new things, or get smashed and crushed trying to do so. Its fun to get caught up in it all, play make-believe for a few hours and tell stories about what they do between their gatherings. So, to this, I present: Dreams of an Urbane Primitive (because I like it when things follow a theme.)

Jack Fox
Mage: Thyrsys, Free Council, DreamSpeaker
Age: 24
Appearance: Jack Fox looks like a cuter Christopher. He's about 6" something, and weighs in around 175 with redder hair, greener eyes, and a much flatter stomach.
Where Jack comes from Out of Character: Jack is me, pretty much. He was my first character to create in this setting, and he is the only one that I have not scrapped entirely to make a wholly new character. Jack is me, but more innocent, with much less ego, and a way for me to work out my inferiority complex.
Where Jack comes from in Character: Jack also comes from Texas, from a family that doesn't listen to him, or care much about him save on the over-all global scale. Jack was Wiccan before he Awakened as a Mage, but only from books, with almost no actual application of what what he had learned. He awoke during a shoddy initiation, but it worked for him, nonetheless.
Who Jack is: Jack is a sweet and caring person, though a very manipulative, as he doesn't understand how to get things his way save through guile and misdirection. Its the only thing he's ever really known. He's very polite, and talks with the Spirits of things often, trying to garner their friendship. Jack has joined in a cabal, or family, of the four most powerful magi in Tampa. He is easily the least power mage in the city, but finds great power through his ability to make friends and in-turn be helped by them.
Jack truly is my favorite of the three characters that I portray, and I do not believe it is because he is the most like me, I think it is the symbolism that I wrap him in. The fact that he does so many things that reflect his negative aspects but how they seem to come off as positive things about the character. I enjoy writing for him because I rarely feel the need to type out what he feels and only write about what he explores. Certainly, emotions drive the exploration, and those emotions are present in the writing, but it is not the focus of the fiction.
Danny Darling
Changeling: Wizened, Oracle, Courtless
Age: 18 / 40
Appearance: Danny is a strapping barely legal teenage boy with short cut brown hair, brown eyes and an aged look that is hard to understand. If you looked at Danny with mortal eyes he would seem as if he was any normal, average over worked kid borne of a hard life. If you saw Danny through Wayward eyes he would look similar, only bloodlessly pale and covered in scars as if used as tool by some sick diviner.
Where Danny comes from Out of Character: Danny is my need for stability, for control, and for a good and proper boy. Danny is not creative, nor is he a free spirit. Danny is all work and very little play. At this time in my life, I am struggling with the balance of the Free Spirited Jack and the need to be stable like Danny. Danny is borne of this struggle.
Where Danny comes from In Character: Danny grew up in the Perfect America back in the late 50's where his father worked and his mother stayed home. His father work sweaters, smoked a pipe and read the news paper, played ball with his son, and kissed his wife on the cheek in front of others. His mother vacuumed in pearls and heals, had prefect hair, and always had breakfast on the table before he and his father made it down. Then Danny was snatched away by a Faerie Slave Trader, as this was Danny's reward for helping out whom he assumed to be an old man in need. That was Danny, always helpful, always kinds, always a good boy. When Danny was carted off to Arcadia, he was sold under the false pretense that he could receive psychic visions. He was cut up and carved upon while hanging from one foot on a tree for what seemed only nine days. When Danny proved of no use to his Faerie Keepers they tossed him back. When he stumbled out of the Hedge, back into the real world it was 27 years later. Danny could not recall his former life, at least not in detail. He could not recall where he came from, who his family is, or even his own name and purpose in this world. The only thing he could remember was the sound of his mother and father leaving him behind with loving words, "Now, you be a good boy, Danny, darling."
Who Danny is: Danny is my tragic character, constantly being beaten down by responsibility. Danny is a "Good Boy" but not in the classical since anymore. That since does not apply to the world we live in today, and Danny realizes this. Danny has sex, pops pills and respects both legal and illegal power-brokers. Danny is also the Royal Vizier of his Freehold, the Freehold's Oracle and adviser, and is often consulted when anything official must be done. Danny does not have a personal life, as he works for his mother and his friends. He is an authority in his Freehold first, a man in the world second, a student at his school third, a changeling among wayward lost fourth, a muddle of other things at the tail, and a companion to the others last.

Tobias Bottom
vampire: Deava, Invictus
Age: 20 / 45
Tobias is on the back burner right now, perhaps I will post about him in the future, but for now, he will remain as much a mystery to you as he does to me.

Meme-ing from the Blogsphere

I have been tagged by one Evn to meme the contents of my desk draw. I have to say, I'm in a similar boat as Deborah, as I just do not seem to be all that exciting of a person for this meme topic.
Now, mind you, I'm not doing this from an office desk, just my home desk, as it is also my work desk for my commission art, as well as just my computer desk.

The rules quoted: "It's simple, but it could be enlightening and/or lead to nostalgia.
Open up your desk drawers. Rummage about. List ten things you find there:"

1. Box of too small envelopes
2. Box of out-of-date checks
3. Electrical tape
4. Two different sizes and brands of packing tape (for shipping off...stuff)
5. A bag of mechanical pencils, because regardless of what art teachers may say, they're prefect! They're always sharp.
6. A bugga-jillion pens as this draw seems to be were all good pens go when they get lost or die.
7. A old PDA that really serves no purpose, but...I'm a clutter bug.
8. Post-Its standard yellow pad
9. A gi-normous exacto-razor-knife-thing for cutting cardboard down to size (for shipping off...stuff)
10. and lastly, the most important thing of all: the green box containing the pillow holding the pocket watch that James gave me for V-day last year. I over wound it and we have yet to have the means to, well, ship it off to have it fixed.

*EDIT
So, Deb changed the rules to include non-draw desk surfaces. I will abridge my ten with another five:

1. A poker box of chips, cards and dice
2. A pomegranate scented candle
3. A small, pink and blue clay bunny.
4. My frankenputer, with walcom tablet and so forth
5. On the wall upon which the desk sits is a poster for the release of Changeling: the Lost's second book, Autumn Nightmares which is a wicked and twisted depiction of the Wild Hunt on uber-crack.

Now, according to the rules, I have to tag five people to blog this meme as well. So, I choose: James, Kevin, Barb, Becca, and Meri-Death.

I also encourage all of you to go and partake of my very amusing image meme a post or two back.

Directions

So, Bob, that guy that pops in and reads this but doesn't know who I am, because I know none of my friends read this with any regularity. Granted, if I was to post regularly then perhaps they would read it. To that, Thank you devoted Bob.
Bob, I warn, this going be a lengthy post!

On with the show:
I did a ritual for the full moon. Actually, I did two. I set the smoke alarms off at 2am, on a Thursday morning, it was amusing to me after the fact. Anywho. So I called down the Great Goddess and Her Consort God into my downstairs bedroom that doubles for my ritual room and had a sit down with them after an offering of Talus Marlot and Strawberries.

(I just realized that we barely have any food but we have four bottles of open alcohol. James is the only one of us drinking. Two bottles of wine, the aforementioned Merlot, Piont Nior of the same brand, a bottle of Jameson's [because I'm a good Irish boy] and a bottle of Ole Nassau Banana Rum. I detest bananas and I don't like the drunk rum gives me, but James drinks it down like thick water.)

Right, anyway, Ritual. So, We're talking about how I need doors and guidance and nudges and so forth. I bless a little rabbit to sit next to my computer to remind me that if I masturbate instead of working towards a goal that God will kill kittens. AND I also blessed some cinnamon, sulfur and copper sulfate and put it in a little viel to keep in my pocket as a symbolic fire under my toosh, or on my thigh as it were.

The following evening I went about re-shui-ing our room, finishing off with a prayer to Gwan Yin and a blessing on some water colors to do up some Ofuda scrolls to assist in said shui-ing. With the first scroll I defined the "Mouth of Chi" (i.e. the entry door) empowered with the symbols of "Toa" in red behind "Dignity", "Fortune" and "Beauty" in black and smaller. Then I went to the relationship corner and spruced up what was already there and placed a scroll empowered with "Love" in large red, behind "Endurance", "Friendship" and "Loyalty" in the smaller black. Next I hung some pretty shiny mirrors on a green dangley, a boomerang and some Lucky Money pockets that I was gifted for the Lunar New Year in the Wealth corner along with a scroll empowered with "Prosperity" in the big red while over it are ""Grace", "Satisfaction" and "Talent" in the smaller black with the hopes of bringing about a source of wealth that is what I would be most comfortable doing and fulfilling for us both. then, I went to the opposite corner of the room and revamped my Friendship corner. I didn't make an ofuda for this, but I placed a red lantern and a little bronze fox there and put candles in them both. Lastly I went to the place between Friendship and Relationship in what is traditionally the "Children" space (which I have relabeled after much confirmation from multiple sources that it works well as a "Projects and Fruition" space) and spruced up what was already there and placed Chan Chu with a 100 yen in his mouth and a little fox there in the hopes that they will generate projects that will bring around fulfillment and prosperity. I should start rotating him, but for now, he faces the Wealth corner.

Now that this has all be explained...I can't sleep. I have so many ideas running through my head on things to MAKE I'm going crazy. And oh, the Shui and the ritual worked, because other things are happening for me, outside of my control.
First off, I lost/quit my job at Red Brick due to a line of events and thoughts (in that order) that stacked the wall against me. After being sick for so long, I come back on and my first day back I am not only accused of stealing $5 from the till, but I am told that I have been passed over for promotion that I was informed I was a shoe in for only a week prior. This passover was due to "lack of experience" for, I guess, that week I was clinically dead. Then, while talking it over in the morning shower with James I talk myself into job hunting in stead of going to work that day (the job give me just enough hours and pay to put enough gas in my tank to get to and from work, and nowhere else). At the last minute, while James is in the computer room...

(Back story, my dad left for a cruise that week and asked James and I to house/dog sit because my step sister and her family are still living there. They keep their room and the computer room under lock and key to keep the kids out.)

...while James is in the computer room I tell myself that I need to suck it up and go in and do my job and be a big boy. So then James comes out and asks me if I'm sure, and before I can give him a full answer I asked him for my keys. He locked them in the computer room. He tries to pick the lock, but no success (and he's fairly good at the picking of simple locks...). So, with no way to lock up the house, or drive I stay home that day and take it as a sign.

Once we come home I get online and I'm poking around, job hunting and chatting and a guy messages me and we start talking. Naturally, we start talking about jobs. He brings up that he believes his place of employment to be hiring for entry level works at a good rate of pay. We bat around that ball for a moment or two and then we go to find that the job has not been posted for application yet. He keeps tabs on it for me, and then within a few days I apply. I haven't heard back from them yet, but he assures me that the reason for this is because they will not do call backs until the posting is taken down. He says they leave them open for about two weeks, which we are nearing. The guy, now friend, also helps with other things, no details, but sweet guy, and a lot of help nonetheless.

So, with all of that in place I start looking in case this job offer falls through, and I still have a million billion ideas running through my mind for designs of art, clothing, and festival things. So I spend some time drawing and plotting on that, but generally feel like I don't know what I'm doing, or how to do any of what I think about. I don't know how to run my own business, I don't know how to check and balance for something like that. Not that any of those thoughts keep me from plotting, just from implementing.
Then (mind you, this is all within the course of one week) an Old Friend contacts me about a commission. She wants me to design some mascots for a business she does design for, and is willing to pay professional prices for professional work. I sqee. She wants two different designs at first, both in two different poses, and if those do well, she will commission me for yet more. Then she starts talking about invoices and project plans and excel spreadsheets and I get very over whelmed (but in a REALLY good way). She takes the step forward and starts helping me set all of this up, instructing me how to .... (are you ready for this?!) run my own design business on a small scale. I didn't ask her too, she just knew I needed to know how for this one simple design job in order for us to have a professional working relationship.

So, now, there is still the light at the end of the tunnel, and still many obstacles to get there, but the wind is at my back. I have a direction I want to move in, but I need something to support myself wholly before I can start doing my design and handicraft peddling full time.

Be happy for me, DAMMIT!

On the note of doing this professionally, and this being my 24th year in this incarnation, I think I'm going to art school. Something like the Art Institute. Pricey, but it cuts out the need to attend community collage and gives me a Bachulars in the major of my choosing. Maybe I'll double major maybe in Graphic Design and in Fashion. What do you think?
Also, I think that the free art is going to be cut back, as I do a disservice to myself when I do it for free. Naturally, as any good Socialist Pagan, I encourage the batter system, but I think I will be cutting back on the totally free art.

Image Game

1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
2. Go to http://images.google.com and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results -- don't tell me the word.
4. Put this in your own blog so that I can do the same.

Pent of Peevies

For so long we have made fun of the Fluffy Bunnies that we have become stagnant in the annoying and amusing aspects of Pagan Culture. Isaac Bonewits has his Pagan Fauna, which is awesome, but dear read I present to you my Pentacle of Pet Peeving Pagans!

Dragon Priest Kings of Atlantis (DPKoA)

These are the reincarnated souls of Great and Powerful Beings or Beasts in a long ago now deemed fantasy land. Often times these beings have Great and Powerful magics that are bound to the Spiritual because the mortal world will no long allow for such Power to play out. These individuals tend to have issues getting along well with other because no one gets them, mere mortals just cannot comprehend the pain and anguish these Great and Powerful Beings or Beast go through because they have no powers but can still feel their wings flex in the Umbral Realms. It is not uncommon for Dragon Priest Kings to fight in Great and Powerful battles in the Realms of the Dream and Shadow for the safety of all Life. It is also not uncommon for these Great and Powerful Beings or Beast that once ruled entire Magical Empires to be so kind as to teach you all that you need to know about the truth of Magic, the Mystical and the Mysteries of their long forgotten Orders Arcane. Never mind the fact that if you were as well read as many of them you may have already pieced together said mysteries from Tolkien, McCaffrey, Lewis, Brooks and that ilk.


More Brightly Blessed than Thou (MBBtT)

Classically known as "Anything you can do, I can do better..." this class of Pagan Annoyance has all the great wards, genealogical swords, signed copies of original print BoS's, and can cast any spell stronger, fast and with more flair than you. No really, they even have a system of measurement. It doesn't matter what hoodoo you do, their doodoo will out do your due any day. They have been Chosen by their God/dess before all others, or have been practicing longer than even the oldest Elder you could name, or at least has conversed with them and written them off as the hack that they truly are. Who cares if this Elder is credited with actually picking out the name "Wicca" for your Religion of Choice? Certainly those of this sort! I say that The Single and Only Great and Powerful Merlin (whom's soul was splintered into a thousand dust-like particles only to explain the Great and Powerful Ancient Dragon Priest Kings of the Atlantean Order of Mysteries, LLC. Inc.) could promptly rip a hole in the Space/Time Continuum and if He so poorly chose to step out at the bored of the Wards surrounding the home of one that is Truly, without a doubt, More Brightly Blessed than Thou he would surely be hoisted from our Realm and Time and trust back to his cave awaiting for some fair-haired maiden to find his current incarnation and go on a Great and Powerful Quest into order to free his magics.


the Psychically Afflicted (PAed)

"No honey, not tonight, I have a headache..." brought on by the souls of the screaming children that died in the fire in Japan that I read about in that old news paper article. This poor and crippled specimen have a hard time venturing out into the Real World for fear that the negative energies from the old woman across the street giving them the evil eye, low the matter that Madam Dova has been dead for three years. This sort simply cannot function due to the high population of persons giving off too many emotions while dancing. These empaths overload and start bleeding from the nose at the same time the name in the next room has a heart attack and honestly thinks that you should pays as much heed to their charlie-horse as a bad omen as you should the doplar radar readout. These are those that are allergic to all things that are also morally grey or black. It is not a matter of the lack of back-bone, for they certainly would approve had they been healthfully able. No no, they certainly approve of your freedom to do whatever it is that that green stuff in the plastic bag is, just not around them as they would certainly be rushed off to the hospital. Oh, that's oregano you say? I was mistaken.


Astral-tear Boys (AtBz)

Recurrently, this kind tend to be DPKoA or MBBtT types that have been given the gracious time to solve the world's metaphysical problems, though, not always are they of the previous manners, so they deserve their own label. Reasoning that they must fly out to Washington State over night because crystal pendulum that they were dangling over the map of San Fransisco (never you mind they live in Florida) jump so dramatically out of hand landing feet "north" of the map while scrying for rips in the Space/Time Continuum's Astral Counterpart to heal. Naturally, after finding a sacred ruler (on loan from a MBBtT buddy whose grandfather was a 74th degree Mason for things such as this) and measuring exactly where in Washington State this tear would be gaged, of course, by the legend on the map (duh!), they hurriedly took out a scrying mirror and summoned forth the date and time the tear would occur. Convenient that it lands the same weekend as a certain con they may secretly wish to attend.


Book Wyrms (BWyz)

If it doesn't come from a book by these seven authors, then it isn't true. This grade of Peeving Pagans are scholars to be certain, most with little imigination or love there for. This group tends to be the polar opposite of those listed above, as they have harshly grounded in a single reality. Pay no mind that NeoPaganism is as much hard core research as it is Epiphany. BWyz walk around with big book and stick to beat other than do not read those book with. Not as much to say about them. Really. That should say enough.

A real and honest update

SO, I'm lost. In a limbo.
Not spiritually anymore that was resolved.
In a few weeks I'm turning 24 and I keep telling myself that it is time to get my stuff together and find a career, stop job hopping every 6 months and get into school and get married (mostly a joke) and have kids (joke) and go to church (joke) and write a book and blah blah blah.
To be honest, I'm afraid to move forward. I'm one of those kids that honestly could be "anything he wants when he grows up." Do you know what that means? That mean infinity minus 1, which is a HUGE number of missed possibilities. I have this thought in my head that if I start down one path I have to put aside all the other millions of things I want to do.
Back up, I promised an update.
So...I'm working in a gourmet pizza place, but due to an unusually strong bout of illness, haven't been there in over a week. James and I have both been very sick, which means whiny in our own ways. We have our healthy moments and our puking ones. I get overly emotional as he avoids me in my time of need and I get over doting when he just wants to be left alone.
My Dad and Step Mom are going through a lot with her kids right now, and I've gotten pulled into the middle as an example of how to be. Granted I've been job hopping, but with less than a month and a half between jobs ends and begins. Money is so tight its riding my balls into my throat and James gets more frustrated with that situation as the days go on, but I'm not asking them, or anyone else for charity.
Christmas was hard, I had money, but he really didn't so I got him a gift but understood when he couldn't get anything for me. I didn't even really have the money to send anyone else a card, but made phone calls. On Valentines Day neither one of us had money, and I was an idiot to talk about it all too much with James. The pain in his eyes was heartbreaking. My birthday, of course, is soon approaching and I know that we won't be able to do anything special for that occasion either.
I doubt that much of anything will be done about it at all, like most years.
Wow this is really emo.
On the emotional side of things, James and I are still very strong. The love is still as it was a year ago when we met, stronger now that we know each other. He is that which brought me out of my spiritual funk. He didn't say anything profound, just that he loves me, which reminded me of the night that I laid in my father's house and cried out to the Divine that I was in need of someone to love who would love me honestly in return. A true friend that I could share anything with and who would be with me and be loyal to me. Only a short while later did I go bowling with him. I have often told him that I prayed for him, and though that does bother him (seemingly being manipulated by some outside force), I found comfort that the Divine had brought him to me.
He wants to not be here in Florida (I believe, specifically, Tampa) come the next calender year. We have talks of Oregon and Texas, and I occasionally bring up other states. Texas has the advantage of my friends and family and a strong gay community. This brings support for us on many levels, and opens new doors for James that I am already very familiar with. This also brings the Rut. Fear of falling back into my old and somewhat still lingering habits.
This brings us full circle to the fact that I'm scared of moving forward on my own, or with James at my side. Not following or stumbling along on what fate places in front of me, but making a choice. School presents said choice, moving without being forced to presents said choice. I'm comfortable in making choices when I have to survive from them, but to better myself?
I would like to stick around here for a little while longer, maybe. I haven't been down to Circle since Lammas, and I really want to have that training. I have most of the Outer Court information already in my head, I know how it mostly works. That's what Wicca 101 books have been from the beginning and I've been reading those for 10 years now. My HPs has even said "If you've read X, Y and Z and know how to apply them, then you already know everything I'm going to teach you on this level. So read A, B and C."
I have become a part of the local Camerilla group and I honestly feel like I am a part of the group, at least during a game. I see and hear about how they interact outside of game, and I haven't completely gotten there with them yet, though I have been invited to a few parties (yes, invited back even...) and other get-to-gethers. I am curious to see if anything happen for my birthday, as I talked about it a lot the last game I went to, and will again come the next one. We'll see.
As for what I want to do to earn a buck and pay the bills? I need something that can keep my attention for longer than 3 months and still pay well enough that I don't have to avoid those that rightfully expect money from me.
I would love to teach religion, lecture, write books.
I would love to become part of a community and raise awareness through charity and art.
I would love to travel the Pagan Festival Circuit and peddle handcrafted wears and potions.
I would love to help people connect with themselves in a spiritual manner.
I would love to open a spa.
I would love to open a bar.
I would love to bartend.
I would love to be an herbal healer.
I would love to make art.
I would love to design advertising campaigns.
I would love to become independently wealthy and travel.
I would love to travel and write about it.
I would love to travel and eat and write about it.
I would love to open a Pagan festival center that was open year round.
I would love to become a temple priest and service the people that attend there.
I would love to build things and see them grow.
I would love to have some focus, some goal, some guidance.
What do you think I should do? Honestly, leave me message here telling me what you think my greatest ability is and how I should apply it. Help me out a bit.